 I wanted to share some of my recent talk from the WNYDA Awards Banquet.
I initially hesitated to share some of my darkest emotions publicly. Vulnerability can feel uncomfortable — especially in communities where perseverance, resilience, and strength, are often worn as quiet badges of honor. But the more I reflected after the event, the more I realized something important: If we want to normalize wellness in our sport, we also have to normalize being human within it. So I decided to share. Because behind every coach, competitor, rider, trainer, HUMAN, is a person navigating life outside the barn — and sometimes that part of the story goes unseen. There I was lying in bed — fetal position — frozen with anxiety and depression. Not burnout. Not stress. Frozen. My angel husband was on his 2nd week of FMLA, Scraping me off the ground every day while I battled the emotional loss of a friend to suicide, a horse to shit luck, a parent to cognitive decline, and chasing a rare diagnosis on a dog and another horse. I was non-functional. And that’s not something we talk about enough in the world. We talk openly about conditioning programs, nutrition plans, and training schedules. We carefully monitor our horses for even the smallest change. But riders? We rarely talk about mental health. And yet every single one of us walks into the barn human first. Before amateur or professional. Before coach or student. Before competitor. Human. Around that time, Jennifer emailed me asking if I would speak at the WNYDA Awards Banquet celebrating One Community, One Passion: 50 Years of WNYDA. My immediate reaction? “WTF… me?” I laughed — mostly because I didn’t feel like the version of myself a speaker should be. Also, because I honestly wasn't sure the last time I showered.. And then another thought followed almost immediately: WTF not... me? Because if horses — and life — teach us anything, it’s this: We don’t show up when everything is perfect. We show up where we are. So I said yes. And I stood in front of a room full of riders to talk about something we don’t discuss nearly enough in this sport: Meeting ourselves where we are — emotionally, mentally, and physically. Spring Cleaning Isn’t Just for the Barn This time of year naturally brings conversations about spring cleaning. We clean trailers. Organize tack rooms. Refresh routines. But what if riders practiced internal spring cleaning too? What if we cleared out:
Because mental clutter doesn’t stay outside the arena gate. It rides with us. Our confidence, emotional bandwidth, nervous systems, sleep, and stress levels all influence how we connect, move, and react — often far more than skill or strength alone. The Pressure of “Should” One thing I’ve learned working with riders over the years is how loudly the word should lives in our heads. I should be further along. I should be stronger. I should have figured this out by now. I should ride better. But wellness — and longevity in riding — isn’t built on perfection. It’s built on awareness. Riders don’t perform in ideal circumstances. We ride from our current reality — our capacity that moment, our confidence, our energy, and our stress. And our horses feel all of it. Not judgmentally. Honestly. Normalizing the Human Experience There are seasons when life feels heavy. Confidence dips. Motivation fluctuates. Progress stalls. And many riders quietly believe they’re falling behind. But horses offer a different lesson. They don’t require perfection from us. They meet us exactly as we are that day — confident or rebuilding, distracted or focused, simply trying or strong. The partnership still exists. The ride still counts. Showing up still matters. Progress Looks Different Than We Think In sports culture, progress is often measured by results. But longevity belongs to riders who learn something far more sustainable: How to adjust without quitting. Some days, we reconnect and regulate stress. Some days we recover. Some days we train. All of those days are part of progress. Meeting ourselves where we are doesn’t lower standards. It creates the conditions that allow growth to happen safely — for both horse and rider. The Lesson Horses Keep Teaching Us When Jennifer first invited me to speak, I almost declined. Not because I lacked knowledge, but because I didn’t feel like the version of myself I thought belonged in that role. And riders do this constantly — waiting until they feel fitter, mentally better, more confident, or stronger before allowing themselves to participate fully. But horses remind us of something powerful: Progress doesn’t come from fighting where we are. It comes from partnering with ourselves. You do not need to become a different rider. You need to become a more aware human riding a horse. Riding Forward If there’s one takeaway from that day — and from this season of reflection — it’s this: Your riding improves the moment you stop fighting where you are and start working with it. Because longevity — in horses, in life, and in sport — belongs to riders who learn to adjust without quitting. We don’t wait until we feel ready. We meet ourselves where we are… …and ride forward anyway. Be Kind To Yourself My Friend Ajia
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 What does your body need from you today?
We spend so much time asking our bodies to perform—to do more, keep going, push harder- that we forget to ask the most important question first: What do you actually need today? Not what you did yesterday. Not what you should do. Not what your calendar says. Just… what does your body need from you right now? Self-Check Is Not Self-Criticism A self-check isn’t about finding what’s wrong. It’s about noticing what’s true—without judgment. Your body is constantly communicating:
None of these are failures. They’re information. And when we listen early, we often avoid burnout, frustration, and injury later. The Myth of “Always Push” We’ve been taught that progress only comes from intensity. That showing up counts only if it’s hard. But real, sustainable progress comes from responding appropriately, not reactively. Some days your body needs:
Other days it needs:
All of those count. Training Smarter Is Still Training Adjusting the plan is not a weakness. Listening is not laziness. Showing up gently is not quitting. In fact, the clients who make the most progress long-term are the ones who learn this skill: checking in before pushing forward. That’s how confidence builds. That’s how movement starts to feel supportive instead of draining. That’s how strength becomes reliable. Try This 60-Second Self-Check Before your next workout—or honestly, before your next task—pause and ask:
That’s it. Progress Doesn’t Always Shout Sometimes progress looks like big wins and PRs. But often, it feels quieter:
And that kind of progress? It lasts. So today, before you plan, power through, or push..check in. What does your body need from you today? |
AuthorAjia Clancy coaches YOU to self empowerment while helping you navigate life towards your health & wellness goals. Archives
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