a letter to my lady boss moms

First and foremost.. This is NOT A Political blog.  I love my career and sanity too much to do that.

Secondly.. This is NOT A F!ck the Patriarch blog.  I love gentlemen, notice I didn’t say men, and I believe we all need each other to cohesively achieve our goals and live our best lives ever.

What THIS Is.. Is a letter To All My Lady Boss Mom’s Out There.. Validation that you ARE Heard and you are seen and you have permission to say “NOT Fucking today.  I’m taking time for myself.”


Dear Lady Boss Mom, 

You may feel the pressure to be the hardest worker in the room due to a combination of desire to prove yourself in a traditionally male-dominated space, personal drive, and societal expectations, however, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your emotional health.

Despite progress in gender equality, workplace bias still exists.  Women, especially those in leadership positions, may feel the need to work harder to overcome biases and stereotypes that portray them as less committed or competent than men.  They often are held to different standards than their male counterparts and face higher scrutiny.  There's a persistent societal expectation for women to excel in both their personal and professional lives, often juggling multiple roles simultaneously.  As a result, this pressure to prove themselves capable and deserving of their roles can drive lady boss mothers to outperform their peers and strive for perfection and they may feel compelled to work harder to prove their competence and dedication.  Dr. Emily Weis accurately shares, “There is so much pressure on women to be everything, all the time.  We are compared to our male counterparts constantly, and while we may be giving 150%, often only are recognized for 75%.  There is an inappropriate drive to close the gap by appearing to be a hard worker when we are already there!” 

Many lady boss mothers are driven by their ambition and desire for professional success.  They may have worked hard to achieve their positions and are determined to maintain their credibility and status.  This intrinsic motivation can lead them to push themselves harder and take on more responsibilities, even at the expense of their well-being.  Another business-owning mother anonymously shared, “I hold myself to an impossibly high standard - one that I would never expect anyone else to rise to.  Because of that, I feel like I need to work twice as hard as everyone else so that no one else will see me fail  I’ve had a lot of people doubt me and speak poorly about me as I’ve tried to grow my business and get out of my comfort zone, so I think I also put that  pressure on myself because I don’t want them to be right.”

In many cultures, there's a deeply ingrained belief that women should prioritize their caregiving responsibilities and family over their careers.  This can create pressure for lady boss mothers to overcompensate by demonstrating their ability to balance both spheres effectively and their commitment to their work.  Abby Scott nailed it when she said; “I think it’s multifaceted, there is more than one answer.. I think some of what makes us Lady Boss’ is ego and success-driven.  We couldn’t do what we do and do it well if we didn’t believe we could do it.  So sometimes it makes it difficult for us to delegate and relinquish control.  Maybe we are so driven because we all feel like we are fighting for a smaller percentage of seats at the table.”  Michelle Mottshaw added; ".. as women, we've always been EXPECTED to perform.  Clean, kids, laundry, parents, pets, work, etc.  We are the doers, and most of us do it well.. Thus, Lady Boss' always feeling that competitive drive to get it done!  It's hard to shut off."

Lady boss mothers may feel responsible for setting an example for other women, particularly their daughters, by demonstrating determination, perseverance, and resilience in the face of challenges.  They want to show that women can thrive in leadership roles and succeed in any environment, regardless of the obstacles they may encounter.

While the dedication and hard work of lady boss mothers are admirable, it's essential to recognize the importance of balance and self-care.  Overexerting oneself and striving for perfection can lead to burnout and negatively impact personal and professional well-being.  Encouraging a culture of flexibility, support, and understanding in the workplace can help alleviate some of the pressure faced by lady boss mothers and enable them to thrive in their roles while maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

So.. HOW Do we change it?

We start a movement.

No bra burning, please!  That sounds like a waste of money and an increase in our carbon footprint.  

Let’s start a movement that normalizes canceling appointments and the prioritization of mental health over overbooking.  This is crucial for fostering a culture of self-care and well-being.

Self-care is Non-Negotiable!  Just as we prioritize our physical health, mental health should be treated with the same level of importance.  Canceling appointments or taking breaks when needed is a form of self-care that allows you to address your mental well-being and recharge.

Lead by example by prioritizing your mental health and modeling healthy behavior, you can inspire others to do the same. This ripple effect contributes to a positive cultural shift towards prioritizing well-being in all aspects of life.

Constantly pushing oneself beyond limits and overbooking can lead to burnout, which has serious consequences for both mental and physical health.  By recognizing the signs of burnout and taking proactive steps to prevent it, you can maintain your overall well-being and productivity in the long run.

Promote open communication by normalizing the practice of canceling appointments for mental health reasons and encouraging open communication about mental health struggles.  It fosters a supportive environment and reduces stigma where everyone feels comfortable expressing their needs and seeking help when necessary.

BOUNDARIES.  I will continue to scream this from the rooftops.  Canceling appointments for mental health reasons is a recognition of one’s limitations and an assertion of boundaries.  It sends a message that it's okay to say no and prioritize personal well-being over external obligations.

Ultimately, honoring one's mental health needs is an act of self-preservation and self-respect.  It's important to remember that canceling appointments or taking breaks when needed is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step towards maintaining overall health and happiness.

Treat yourself like the Boss YOU Are.

​Sincerely,
Another Lady Boss Mom That Just Looks Like She Has Her Shit Together


P.S.  Interested in joining other like-minded Lady Boss’?  Contact me for an invite to our upcoming EmpowHER Group.