 First and foremost.. This is NOT A Political blog. I love my career and sanity too much to do that.
Secondly.. This is NOT A F!ck the Patriarch blog. I love gentlemen, notice I didn’t say men, and I believe we all need each other to cohesively achieve our goals and live our best lives ever. What THIS Is.. Is a letter To All My Lady Boss Mom’s Out There.. Validation that you ARE Heard and you are seen and you have permission to say “NOT Fucking today. I’m taking time for myself.” Dear Lady Boss Mom, You may feel the pressure to be the hardest worker in the room due to a combination of desire to prove yourself in a traditionally male-dominated space, personal drive, and societal expectations, however, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your emotional health. Despite progress in gender equality, workplace bias still exists. Women, especially those in leadership positions, may feel the need to work harder to overcome biases and stereotypes that portray them as less committed or competent than men. They often are held to different standards than their male counterparts and face higher scrutiny. There's a persistent societal expectation for women to excel in both their personal and professional lives, often juggling multiple roles simultaneously. As a result, this pressure to prove themselves capable and deserving of their roles can drive lady boss mothers to outperform their peers and strive for perfection and they may feel compelled to work harder to prove their competence and dedication. Dr. Emily Weis accurately shares, “There is so much pressure on women to be everything, all the time. We are compared to our male counterparts constantly, and while we may be giving 150%, often only are recognized for 75%. There is an inappropriate drive to close the gap by appearing to be a hard worker when we are already there!” Many lady boss mothers are driven by their ambition and desire for professional success. They may have worked hard to achieve their positions and are determined to maintain their credibility and status. This intrinsic motivation can lead them to push themselves harder and take on more responsibilities, even at the expense of their well-being. Another business-owning mother anonymously shared, “I hold myself to an impossibly high standard - one that I would never expect anyone else to rise to. Because of that, I feel like I need to work twice as hard as everyone else so that no one else will see me fail I’ve had a lot of people doubt me and speak poorly about me as I’ve tried to grow my business and get out of my comfort zone, so I think I also put that pressure on myself because I don’t want them to be right.” In many cultures, there's a deeply ingrained belief that women should prioritize their caregiving responsibilities and family over their careers. This can create pressure for lady boss mothers to overcompensate by demonstrating their ability to balance both spheres effectively and their commitment to their work. Abby Scott nailed it when she said; “I think it’s multifaceted, there is more than one answer.. I think some of what makes us Lady Boss’ is ego and success-driven. We couldn’t do what we do and do it well if we didn’t believe we could do it. So sometimes it makes it difficult for us to delegate and relinquish control. Maybe we are so driven because we all feel like we are fighting for a smaller percentage of seats at the table.” Michelle Mottshaw added; ".. as women, we've always been EXPECTED to perform. Clean, kids, laundry, parents, pets, work, etc. We are the doers, and most of us do it well.. Thus, Lady Boss' always feeling that competitive drive to get it done! It's hard to shut off." Lady boss mothers may feel responsible for setting an example for other women, particularly their daughters, by demonstrating determination, perseverance, and resilience in the face of challenges. They want to show that women can thrive in leadership roles and succeed in any environment, regardless of the obstacles they may encounter. While the dedication and hard work of lady boss mothers are admirable, it's essential to recognize the importance of balance and self-care. Overexerting oneself and striving for perfection can lead to burnout and negatively impact personal and professional well-being. Encouraging a culture of flexibility, support, and understanding in the workplace can help alleviate some of the pressure faced by lady boss mothers and enable them to thrive in their roles while maintaining a healthy work-life balance. So.. HOW Do we change it? We start a movement. No bra burning, please! That sounds like a waste of money and an increase in our carbon footprint. Let’s start a movement that normalizes canceling appointments and the prioritization of mental health over overbooking. This is crucial for fostering a culture of self-care and well-being. Self-care is Non-Negotiable! Just as we prioritize our physical health, mental health should be treated with the same level of importance. Canceling appointments or taking breaks when needed is a form of self-care that allows you to address your mental well-being and recharge. Lead by example by prioritizing your mental health and modeling healthy behavior, you can inspire others to do the same. This ripple effect contributes to a positive cultural shift towards prioritizing well-being in all aspects of life. Constantly pushing oneself beyond limits and overbooking can lead to burnout, which has serious consequences for both mental and physical health. By recognizing the signs of burnout and taking proactive steps to prevent it, you can maintain your overall well-being and productivity in the long run. Promote open communication by normalizing the practice of canceling appointments for mental health reasons and encouraging open communication about mental health struggles. It fosters a supportive environment and reduces stigma where everyone feels comfortable expressing their needs and seeking help when necessary. BOUNDARIES. I will continue to scream this from the rooftops. Canceling appointments for mental health reasons is a recognition of one’s limitations and an assertion of boundaries. It sends a message that it's okay to say no and prioritize personal well-being over external obligations. Ultimately, honoring one's mental health needs is an act of self-preservation and self-respect. It's important to remember that canceling appointments or taking breaks when needed is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step towards maintaining overall health and happiness. Treat yourself like the Boss YOU Are. Sincerely, Another Lady Boss Mom That Just Looks Like She Has Her Shit Together P.S. Interested in joining other like-minded Lady Boss’? Contact me for an invite to our upcoming EmpowHER Group.
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Blog Takeover: Chief Master Sergeant Matthew C. Clancy
I knew at an early age that I wanted to serve. I grew up looking at and playing with my father's old Air Force uniforms as a child. My father served four years during the Vietnam War. As I grew up and started asking questions about his time in the AF, he didn’t really give me much information but he never spoke negatively about his experience. I did get out of him that he was stationed in Japan for a few years. My father's older brother did a stint in the US Army and played on the Army’s baseball team. I also had an Uncle in the Army who was on Active Duty and retired while I was in Junior High. Another influential person in my decision to join was my brother Chuck who was on Active Duty in the Air Force for as long as I could remember and who would end up staying in 25 plus years and retiring as Lt. Colonel. I grew up with a lot of family that I looked up to that happened to be in the Military and I can’t deny that that probably had a large influence on my joining. Another influence was the Gulf War and my brother being deployed overseas during it. Following him during that time just pushed me more toward Military life and seeing the world. Also, from a young age, I knew that I wanted to be in some kind of Law Enforcement career. So that being said, you can’t be a cop at the age of 18 in the Civilian world but you sure can be one in the Military. So after plenty of research and a trip to two Air Force Bases and one Army Fort, I decided to join the United States Air Force. So in March of 1995, I convinced my parents to sign my seventeen-year-old self up for enlistment in the Air Force as a Combat Arms Instructor, which fell under the Security Forces Squadrons. I shipped out to BMT in July of 1995 just one month after graduating from High School. I knew I wanted to serve and as a kid, you think you might do twenty but I had no idea at that time. I’ll spare you and not list everything here. But I ended up staying on Active Duty for eleven years. During those eleven years, I served as Combat Arms Instructor (Weapons Instructor), Military Working Dog Handler (K-9), and Technical School Instructor at Lackland AFB Texas. Along the way, I was stationed at several bases, deployed overseas, and completed a one-year remote tour to Honduras. I decided to leave active duty to move back home and become a Monroe County Sheriff’s Deputy like my brother. I still wanted to serve my Country so I transferred to the Air Force Reserves, out of Niagara Falls ARS. While in the reserves I fulfilled both of my passions. I was now a police officer and still able to serve my Country. I wore several different hats during my reserve time. I went back to my original job of being a CATM Instructor. I then moved up the ranks to leadership roles which included being in charge of Range operations during drill, being the Superintendent of the Range and Security Forces Supply sections and then the culmination was being promoted to E9/Chief Master Sergeant where I had the privilege and honor of serving as the Security Forces Manager. And finally, 27 years later in June of 2022, I will be retiring from the United States Air Force. Still wanting to serve but knowing that it’s time to step away and focus on family and my last remaining years at the Sheriff’s office. I’ve always wanted to serve and follow in the footsteps of the Clancy’s before me. I always have had a calling and desire to serve my country through Military service. I believe that I have served honorably and made my family and Country proud. I am even more proud to say that my son will not only be following in my footsteps but rather surpassing them, as he has been accepted into the Space Force, a spot reserved for only 400 applicants a year.  Blog Takeover: Jeff S.
As I went through high school it became clear that college was not the right path for me. I enlisted in the Coast Guard delayed entry program the summer before my senior year of high school. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I was going to spend the next 22 years of my life serving. I still remember pulling into boot camp on the bus the first day and wondering why I signed up for this. The responsibilities I was given and the places I got to see were life changing. I was really into weightlifting throughout high school, but do not think I ever ran over a mile at a time. The amount of running and calisthenics in boot camp was a shock to say the least. While I was in I continued to lift and would do the PT test every six months to keep up my certifications. I never did really anything that was above and beyond. I would always scrape by on the PT tests, never blowing them out of the water. It was not until about four years, at the age of 38, that I started taking exercising seriously. I now work out six days a week and have even participated in some competitions. I probably have worked out more the past couple of years than I have my entire life. It is now routine for me and I have never felt better both physically and mentally. I wish I would have started on this journey sooner. I retired from the Coast Guard Reserves about two years ago and am loving semi-retired life.  Blog Takeover: Rick B., Fairport
I joined the military in part to honor my Dad’s legacy and also to be able to say that ‘I, too, did my part’. The Army was one way I learned the importance of fitness. At an impressionable age I remember one of my drill sergeants saying if I don’t take time for my fitness, my body will force me to make time for my illness. Having twins and working in emergency services severely challenged my ability to balance my time. I let fitness slide and as a result, I suffered a back injury that I’m still recovering from. Thankfully, with some coaching assistance, I’m back to working out and making progress in the fitness department. It’s a daily battle and I’m thankful I can again pick up my children for an ‘upstairs hug’ and hold them tight. No matter your stage in life or injury setbacks, anyone can make progress and improve their fitness. I did. And I’m still doing. Blog Takeover: Petty Officer Buck, Scottsville, NY I graduated high school in 1989. My intention was to go to college following high school graduation, but I didn't know how to make that happen. No one in my family had gone to college so this was uncharted territory for me with little support to make it happen. After working 3 jobs for a year, I knew I had to do something to better my life. That's when I looked into joining the military. I entered the United States Navy on September 11th, 1990. I had no idea just how instrumental this journey would be in forming the person I am today. Not only did the Navy provide the financial means for me to go to college, it allowed me to believe in myself. I was a very average student in high school. My home life was, well, not good, and I didn't have the support to be successful. Through my military training, I learned that I could accomplish most anything that I put my mind to and worked hard for it. This includes acing exams in my trade school and passing physical fitness tests. I was not an athletic kid and was actually quite overweight. It was the military that sparked my love for physical fitness. I was on active duty until September 1994, then stayed on as a reservist for an additional 10 years. I went on to earn my degree in Veterinary Medicine and have been practicing for 17 years. I would never have accomplished this without the Navy. To this day, I still say that joining the military was the best choice I have ever made in my life. |
AuthorAjia Clancy coaches YOU to self empowerment while helping you navigate life towards your health & wellness goals. Archives
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