February. National Heart Month. The month dedicated to the heart.
The month of love.
The hype implies you need someone like a sweetheart to love you. However, just as I rang in the New Year screaming YOU DON'T NEED A DAY TO MAKE SELF CHANGES, allow me to scream the following things you also DO NOT NEED:
1. A Sweetheart or their permission to be loved.
2. A day or month for you to be loved.
As a child of divorce and parental abandonment, and not in that order, and then a shitty 1ST Marriage where I was married to a narcissist I had the wildest sense of what I required to love myself. It wasn't until I was separated and far into my 30s that I truly began to love myself. There was a lot of trial and error there too... It's not like I work up one day magically healed from all of my residual trauma. But. Here's what I learned.
YOU are your own sweetheart.
You are your own hero in your story.
If you need permission, then by all means my friend permit yourself this very moment to begin self-love.
So how does one begin to love themselves?
Begin by setting healthy boundaries.
Parent? Sibling? Partner? Friend? If they cannot care about or understand your feelings and need, seek and want too much admiration or attention. Set a boundary.
If they see you, their child, as an extension of themselves and not your person. Boundary.
If they are usually a selfish person and only think about themselves and not about you, their partner, or your relationship and they expect you to do all the housework. Boundary.
If you're reading this and you’re starting to get triggered by a certain person in your life then chances are they are a narcissist, (but I'm happy to refer you to some FREE Self-help links to confirm what you already know.)
Set a healthy boundary. Healthy boundaries include being able to communicate your needs and wants, including the ability to say, 'No." They also include honoring and respecting your own needs and wants.
If you find you are surrounded by people that do not respect your boundaries then you may find yourself in the next stage of self-love; cutting toxic relationships out of your life.
Once you have begun to separate yourself from the cancerous people that prioritize themselves with zero regards for you and your personal growth then and only then can you truly begin to grow.
So how do you focus on yourself?
Be self-confident. This is the key to success in your health and your life and so many other aspects.
Every day look at yourself in the mirror and say, " I AM ENOUGH." Or, "I DESERVE ALL OF MY BLESSINGS." Or pick your own mantra.
Practice positivity. Practice being GrateFULL Daily. From your cup of coffee to how well someone you love is doing.
Scheduling some "me" time on your calendar.
Since I love a good challenge... Literally and figuratively, I'm challenging everyone to love themselves.
Here’s a link to my FREE 14 Day Self Love Challenge.
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Ajia Clancy coaches YOU to self empowerment while helping you navigate life towards your health & wellness goals.